How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We have started to decorate penises.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
