it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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