my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
