He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
