that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
