Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
