I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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