So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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