Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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