jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
