why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
