You don't have asthma, your pregnant
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
