You're so nebulous sometimes
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
