I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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