Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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