Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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