before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize