youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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