Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
