her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
