I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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