I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
