But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
