Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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