Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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