I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
