put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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