the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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