the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
