you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
