i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
