Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
