Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Holy shit dude........stairs
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