Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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