i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
