i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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