Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he shaved USA in his pubs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
