We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
