I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is the high leading the old right now
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
