I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
