Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
