Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
