did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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