I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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