How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
