sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
