I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
