guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
that's an acceptable place to lick
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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