new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
