So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
