So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
