It's Friday. Sex?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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