You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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