I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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