so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
