Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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