where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
